While Zimbabweans count their coins and queue for fuel, Chivayo’s expanding silhouette over five weeks now reads less like a personal health journey and more like an economic metaphor: a man bloating on unchecked wealth, gorging on gluttonous excess — with not a single invoice of productivity in sight. 🔍 SATIRICAL INVESTIGATIVE FEATURE
“JET FATIGUE? ” – Wicknell Chivayo’s Waistline Expands Faster Than National Debt
Harare, Zimbabwe – [18 June 2025]
It’s official: Wicknell Chivayo’s waistline may now require its own private jet clearance.
The controversial tender tycoon, known more for posing next to Gulfstream jets than producing a single tomato for the economy, appears to be suffering from what observers are calling a new post-pandemic affliction — “Jet Lag Belly Syndrome. ”
Chivayo, who has spent the past month flooding social media with images of luxury aircrafts, Rolls Royces, and designer loungewear stretched to its operational limit, was first seen on 10 May grinning next to a jet at Robert Gabriel Mugabe International Airport.
Then came the bombshell: images just three weeks later showed the flamboyant figure in matching red Gucci leisurewear descending from a G700 jet at an air show looking visibly more inflated than Zimbabwe’s bond note in 2008. 🛩️ “Is that a human or a human embargo? ” one user quipped under a post, as the internet speculated whether Chivayo had been mistakenly classified as additional cargo on the manifest. 🍔 From Tenderpreneur to “Tummypreneur”? 🔗 Read Full Article
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