Why 90s love is trending again and what it says about us

The desire for a 90s kind of love is back. Picture iStock The Sixties gave us love’s endless summer, the sexual revolution and the beginnings of free love that spilt into the Seventies. Then came feminism, the excess of the Eighties with its big-hair bravado, and, over the past two decades, the wobble of a life lived on fast-forward.

Perhaps that’s why the pull toward the late Eighties and Nineties feels stronger now. Not just for the music or the fashion, but for a different kind of courtship.Lisa Welsh, an accredited sex educator and relationship expert, unpacked what’s really behind the nostalgia. It’s partly fair, but nostalgia has a way of smoothing over the rough edges.

Without smartphones, you had to be present. You called someone’s landline, you waited, and you showed up. That friction created a kind of investment that feels rare now.

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But we’re also romanticising a time that had its own serious problems. Emotional unavailability was normalised, same-sex relationships were largely invisible, and many people stayed in unfulfilling partnerships simply because leaving felt too complicated or shameful. So yes, there was something more grounded about the pace.

But “grounded” doesn’t always mean healthier. What people are really mourning is the sense of presence and intention, not necessarily the era itself. Absolutely.

Choice without depth is exhausting. When every connection is a scroll away, nothing feels particularly precious. People are starting to notice that abundance isn’t the same as fulfilment.

Swipe culture has created a kind of paradox of availability. The easier access becomes, the harder a genuine connection feels. There’s always another option, which makes it difficult to be fully present with the person in front of you.

The draw toward 90s ideals may be a craving for relationships that feel worth the effort. People want to feel chosen, not just swiped right. For many people, yes.

Identity used to be something you quietly tried on before you decided whether it fit. Now there’s pressure to declare, label, and broadcast before you’ve even had time to sit with how you feel.

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