The danger when alcohol becomes your best friend

Alcohol dependence is not the stigmatised image of someone slumped over a bar counter drowning their sorrows, nor is it the rock star smashing everything in sight in a drunken rage. Behind the stereotypes is a far more complex addiction that can be triggered by trauma, grief, mental illness, major life changes and years of using alcohol to cope with emotional pain. Many of the people now seeking treatment do not fit the picture, either.

They are professionals with successful careers, parents raising families and South Africans who have always believed they had a healthy relationship with alcohol. Graeme Hart, an addiction counsellor atNetcare Akeso Stepping Stoneswho has been sober for almost 12 years, said he is seeing more people over the age of 40 reaching out for help. “I think we came from a generation where you kept a stiff upper lip and dealt with your problems on your own,” Hart said.

“Psychologists and therapists were for rich people and Americans on TV.” Hart said many people had spent years believing alcohol was helping them cope, until they realised it had become part of the problem. “Like me, their best friend of many years, has now become toxic,” he said. “People have often covered up their dependency for years, and under the surface they may be struggling with anxiety or depression.” He said many believed they had always been social drinkers until something happened that accelerated their drinking.

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This could be funnelled to major life events like divorce, bereavement, job loss and other instances of similar ilk. Social workerIngrid Pollakof Inner Essence said the underlying problem was often not alcohol at all, but unresolved emotional pain. “Whatever you perceive as trauma, that triggers you, that is a trauma,” Pollak said. She said what one person dismissed as insignificant could have a profound emotional impact on someone else, making alcohol an easy escape if those emotions remained unresolved.

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