Opinion | Non, je ne regrette

Listening to “La mome Piaf” or “Little Sparrow” singing her famous and very personal song, one is left enchanted. It’s applicable to us all. Everyone has regrets, including its first cousin, remorse.

In fact, it would be true to say that our regrets often replay in our minds like a tired old gramophone with maddening irregularity. If they don’t, then I fear you are without both conscience and “skaam”. Regrets are arguably the heaviest and most profound burdens that we carry into the hereafter.

They usually occur in the arenas of romance, money/business, health and, make no mistake, that misguided knee-jerk thoughtless unkind remark made to a friend or family member. Spoken words cannot be retracted or, like the Epstein files, redacted. To briefly summarise Edith’s take on the subject, let me paraphrase.

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“No, no regrets, I will have no regrets, all the things that went wrong, for at last I have learned to be strong/ All that doesn’t matter to me, it’s paid for, swept away, forgotten/ And the memories I had, I no longer desire, both the good and the bad, I have flung in the fire/ For the seed that is new, is the love growing for you.” To some extent, in order to avoid regrets, the old rules of life tend to come to the fore – ‘Look before you leap; think before you speak and think again’. Sometimes it works! Try as you may, mistakes will be made.

My only advice is to tackle any boo boo ASAP, lest it becomes a boo hoo! Acknowledge mistakes, (call them ‘challenges’), make right where you can, and set, to some extent, your emotions and conscience free. It was Bill the Bard who said, “Things without remedy should be without regard: what’s done is done.” Perhaps that’s true, but only if they really are ‘without remedy’ — that’s pretty final!

He also said, “If one good deed in all my life I did, I do repent from my very soul.” He was lamenting that if in an entire lifetime, one good deed was all you could manage, you need to hang your head in shame. Of course, heartfelt apologies go a long way to placate a hurtful or volatile situation, but don’t blow it! Examples of ‘folly’ apologies that may exacerbate the situation might be: “I promise to do a better job at hiding how much you annoy me.” Or, “I would agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.” Or, “Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to admit that I’m right.” Finally, a right corker, might be: “Sorry for slapping you twice as I wasn’t sure which face to slap.” Life has more ups than downs…generally.

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