Economising government fuel

Greetings from the Munda wa Chitedze Farm where I relocated from the hustle and bustle of your city. Unlike you, we do not suffer in peace, where it itches, we scratch. You see, Dear Diary, the smiles on the faces of the villagers around the farm are really heartwarming.

Everyone was getting really worried. As for the Chitedze plants they are thriving. We have already made box ridges to retain the moisture if at all the rains vanish again.

It was quite a surprise to hear the other day President Peter Mutharika’s publicist Cathy Maulidi call on all religious leaders to pray for rains between February 6 and 8. It may have been a mere coincidence but that was the very time the weatherman had predicted that the dry spell would come to an end. At the farm, we draw a very thick line between science and religion to avoid contradiction.

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We remember as if it were yesterday, when the then minister of agriculture wanted to visit us at the farm. We will not mention names here because they are back in parliament after a spate of trials and tribulations. We received a call from his assistant that since he had just been appointed, he wanted to visit the farm for his appraisal.

It was our feeling to tell them off since every new minister always wants to see the hybrid Chitedze pods at the farm. Nothing, no absolutely nothing, comes out of such familiarization tours. But we restrained ourselves and a date was set for the minister to pay us a visit.

Dear Diary, we were told the minister would be at the Farm by 10am and would be there for only one hour. On the appointed day, we waited. At 10, he was not there.

At 10.30am, none of the minister’s whiskers were in sight. We waited and waited, since the personal assistant was not picking up calls. No remorse at all.

“It has been a very busy day. We have visited a scheme, toured a ranch, attended a meeting and here we are,” the PA said. You see, it is not a new thing that newly-sworn-in ministers spend time touring departments and raffling unnecessary feathers.

How many times have new ministers visited the Blantyre Cultural Centre that is being renovated? Has anything moved? Dear Diary, all these thoughts came to mind when President Mutharika said ministers should only go out once a month.

It is our hope at the farm that the order will be followed to the letter. It has been a funny circus that you could find the minister and deputy attending the handing over ceremony of a building! While you are wondering about that, you find that the PS is there, some directors….

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