After the holidays, chaos, overspending and emotional hangovers fade, giving way to peace and the quiet return of everyday life. Picture: iStock The decorations are down, the last piece of fruitcake has achieved rock-like density and your house no longer smells like beer, custard and emotional overspending. Christmas is officially over.
And now you’re left staring at a half-empty tin of chocolates and a family you’re not quite ready to make eye contact with again. The first phase after the festivities is confusion. You wake up to realise there are no leftovers to eat for breakfast.
The braai meat is gone. The huge trifle is a memory. You stand in front of the fridge like a lost tourist: “Is this… lettuce?” And you don’t even remember buying vegetables.
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After confusion comes the dreaded financial hangover. You open your bank app slowly, as it might bite unexpectedly. Somehow, you spent R600 on gift wrap alone.
Why is wrapping paper priced like a limited-edition artwork? And why did you buy bows for people who don’t even like you that much? This is when you vow to lie low for the next Christmas, but know it won’t happen.
Then there’s the emotional withdrawal. No more happy carols blaring in malls. No more “special vibes”.
Just normal life creeping back in, wearing sweatpants and bad news. You’re expected to go back to work and pretend spreadsheets are more exciting than Christmas pudding. They’re not.
They’ll never be. The tree is now your enemy. It stands there in its full glory and you know it is going to take you forever to take the decorations down.
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