Adulthood gets a rethink as Gen Z delays grown-up checklists

Gen Zs are rewriting life’s rules as we have come to know them. The milestones of being a grown-up are aplenty. Going to varsity, a gap year in-between perhaps, meeting a partner, falling in love, marriage, kids and the suburbs.

It’s that first job after graduating, setting emotional boundaries and personal access early on. It’s all grown-up stuff that young adults are segueing, delaying or just changing entirely. Counsellors say this does not mean they are off track.

It often just means the picture looks different. Kirsten Harrison, a registered counsellor andSACAP(South African College of Applied Psychology) programme coordination manager, works with many young adults navigating the in-between phase, the transition to becoming an adult. Here are seven of the realities shaping how Gen Z is growing up.

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“This extended period can increase identity exploration,” said Harrison. “However, there is also a chance it increases emotional strain for the person. Young adults are still trying to find their place in the world and understand this next phase in their lives that comes with responsibility, big decisions and sometimes a lot of apprehension.” She added that with the right support in place, Gen Zs are given the space to explore roles or values which can strengthen clarity.

Without this support as a buffer, young adults can be left feeling lost and filled with self-doubt. Harrison said that in today’s times, young adults seem to be redefining adulthood around internal and external markers or milestones rather than solely economic. “Emotional intelligence, healthy boundaries and making a meaningful contribution are increasingly being seen as adult qualities, which differ from previous generations.

Many young adults may measure adulthood by their ability to make intentional decisions and sustain healthy relationships even if financial independence is still in progress,” she said. In the South African context, extended family dependence is often a practical and culturally consistent application, not a personal shortfall. Harrison said that this reflects the current economic climate, where often extended dependence is a necessity.

“Depending on the support available and the dynamics within the family, sometimes this additional support ensures longer-term independence for the young adult,” Harrison said. Gen Zs carry the burden of modern life’s ambiguity. The psychological costs include chronic uncertainty, decision fatigue and challenges with commitment.

This can increase stress levels and impact an individual’s self-esteem, Harrison said. “Juxtaposed to this, often unexpected strengths do develop through this hardship, such as resilience, adaptability and even entrepreneurial thinking. Many young adults become more resourceful and flexible in how they construct their identity as well as their career path.”

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