It always baffles me how a parent or both would have preferences in as far as their children are concerned. Yet again, I am not naïve to believe this is entirely impossible because they are reasons that could drive favouritism. But along the same vein, it’s not uncommon for parents to favour the very child who has brought them nothing, but trouble.
Favouritism, therefore, doesn’t always come from the heart. There is a widespread habit of favouring children with the biggest financial muscle or whose prospects are brighter than those still getting their bearings. Those with weaker financial muscles are despised and given no say in family matters.
No amount of non-monetary contribution is recgonised or appreciated. It doesn’t matter whether they are guardians when parents are sick, clean, cook, watch or do the donkey work. It is always the financial provider who has an upper hand and a parent will jump when these children ask them to.
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Sadly, the moment the finances collapse or the children are unable to help the parents like they used to, they are discarded as the parents look for the child with more finances. If not, they will mount pressure, demanding for material instead of standing with the children in their times of need. I have witnessed a mother protecting and loving her child who refuses to work even in adulthood, toiling for them as if they owe them that.
These type of parents desire the breadwinners, always defending the ‘useless’ one as if those earning a living are committing crimes. And when a father raises concern over such a wrong, the parents end up arguing, with the mother asking him to leave ‘her’ children alone. This is obviously the opposite of the example cited above, but share a similar concept of favourtism.
All of this is unnecessary and pointless. Your child will remain such whether rich or poor. Children can never be the same and destinies defer.
What the point of disliking a your flesh and blood simply because they don’t have money. And what’s the use for loving someday conditionally simply because they are capable of meeting their needs? Accept your children for what they are, even if they are, into substance abuse.
They need your support not judgment and condemnation. At the end of the day, parents are human. If unappreciated and ill treated by the very children they bear, I am afraid that under such circumstances, they are justified to drift apart and protect themselves.
No child can claim favouritism when the parents decide to interact and relate with those oh respect them. That’s just how life goes.
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