Workplace bullying is a complex issue compounded by gender dynamics and organisational culture. I recently stumbled across an X (formerly Twitter) thread by Amukelani that stopped me in my tracks. The debate?
How men and women bully differently at work. The words “men as saboteurs” and “women as main characters” popped up again and again, sparking a fiery online exchange. But behind the memes and labels lies a more serious question: does gender really shapehow bullying plays out in the workplace, or are we simply reinforcing stereotypes?
To unpack this, “Independent Media Lifestyle” spoke with experts who spend their careers helping organisations navigate workplace conflict. What they shared reveals that bullying is rarely just about “mean colleagues”. It’s about power, culture and the silent systems that let bad behaviour thrive.
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“Calling men the ‘saboteurs’ and women the ‘main characters’ can be catchy online,” explained Anja van Beek, talent strategist, leadership & HR expert, and executive coach. “But it runs the risk of perpetuating stereotypes rather than addressing the issue. Bullying is always about power – who has it, who doesn’t, and how it’s abused.” She points out that men are often labelled “saboteurs” because they tend to occupy higher-ranking roles, while women may be more visible in interpersonal conflicts.
“But if we stop there, we miss the bigger picture of organisational culture and accountability,” Van Beek said. Bernise Games, of YuLife, agrees. “Workplace bullying is rarely as simple as one person being mean.
It often mirrors deeper social structures: gender, race, culture, and even neurodiversity. A woman of colour in a male-dominated industry won’t experience bullying the same way as her white female colleague. “A man in a female-majority workplace may feel the weight of being the minority just as heavily. It’s not just about personality clashes, it’s about how power circulates.”
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